Jun 6, 2010

My heart is restless...

When u try to stand still, don't u freak out just knowing that earth is spinning and spinning around?
when every thing is soo vicious so fast so horrible...
all what u seek in this very moment is your safety net.. the one and only place u'd get ur inner peace.. 
Once u lose ur inner peace u'll start to freak out.. ur heart beats will go faster.. harder.. as if its beating for a state of mind.. not to rush life through your veins.. it only beats to hurt u.. it only beats to remind u that u r not safe.. and u will never be. 

i mean if the threat is only about all mortal stuff like money.. cars.. job titles.. this wouldnt be as hurtful as it is. 

this is big. this is scary.. this is about you going all numb. this is about you losing your human feelings. After all what is this human feeling we all seek ?
i've been descriminated against. i've been hurt million and million of times. it made me stronger.. convinced me to lose the idea of belonging to such a stupid kind of humans (who happen to classified their selves as humans.. but they are not. i totally disagree! like totally..

and when i find my only comfort in being alone this would come out. Floating heads will never leave me alone. their voices their stupid vain promises would always bang the bloody walls of my heart. will get me more numb.. more hurtful .. more of every thing which is bad.. which is sad.. 

so i go, i hold my breath. i want to float in the sky.. i hold my breath cause it is such a waste of time to breathe it out.. I got tons of stuff on my brain.. they hurt me.. they suffocate me.. i dont want to talk abt them.. cause that will hurt me even more.. and with every time i type hurt .. it hurts to type it. 

My dear floating heads, i am not pleased to announce that i lost my immortal trust in all of u. cause 80% of u keep on disappointing me .. and the rest are just an access weight that i have to deal with,,, 


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